I can't believe that I will be 17 weeks pregnant this week....Time is going by fast and believe it or not I wish it would slow down a little. I pulled up a pregnancy ticker the other day that said you only have 24 weeks to go and I got a little pit in my stomach like "wait...thats it" I am sure in 24 weeks I will be ready to meet this little one but right now I can't imagine this little babe being anywhere but inside my little belly!
Many of you may or may not know but a couple of hours after I delivered Avery... Matt was in the NICU, my family had all left, and the nurses got me out of my bed to put the egg crate back on it. I was in a swirly MAG world and was so sick! I remember feeling as if I were on a ship because I was so motion sick. The nurses left and I sat in my room alone and I lost it...I cried hysterically wishing my baby was back in my belly or at least in my arms. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for not being able to carry Avery full term or to help her grow big and strong. Several people who visited said "You ar so lucky that you don't have to be pregnant those last few miserable weeks." I wanted to scream "WHAT...I would pay a million dollars to be pregnant those last 7 weeks and hold my baby in my arms and bring her home with us"
So this time I am already looking forward to every single second that I have the privilege of carrying this baby! You truly don't know the gift of being pregnant until you struggle with getting pregnant or deliver preterm. So ladies even if I am huge at the end of August I will be ok wih it! I will not complain because I don't want to ever feel those empty arms or tummy again.
I can't believe we only have 23/24 weeks left but vow to keep these memories fresh in my head! To enjoy everyday of being pregnant...the good and the bad!
As I write this Avery just climbed up on my chair hugged my neck and said "I love you so much mom...." Sigh the joy of these little beings is just priceless!!!!
3 comments:
I pray that you grow this little girl big and strong too...huh, I just called her a girl :) Love ya Jen! (PS I work tues, wed, and on call thur, fri, sat- so I am bound to see you)
Love the picture. And I can sort of empathize with what you are saying though I've never gone through what you have. But my few naughty contractions it has made me extra greatful to be pregnant every day! And I can't believe you are 17 weeks!
You are so cute. This is so like you. You want to get 100% out of life. I love it. Well congrats on the current pregnancy.
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